Adam Daniel Mezei

28. 04.

Typical African Job Descriptions in Prague

Adam Daniel Mezei Přečteno 110418 krát

You might be wondering what some of the other Africans do in town, those who choose to face up to the difficult task of finding an honest living wage, not hustle. Those who turn their backs to the street and make a brave go of it as part of the legions of working stiffs who populate our city streets.

Here is a list of the more common Prague jobs I've seen black people do besides promoting nightclubs:

1) Casino doormen: A handful of popular casinos dot Prague's downtown area, doubling as strip joints and, less frequently, ritzy sex clubs. A doorman will be dressed in tacky period costume: a gaudy-colored cape (traditionally a stark shade of red), homburg hat, a steel-tipped black cane, and spats. It's a more dignified hustle than what's to be found on the street, as the doorman's only had to shepherd in interested parties into the casino's bowels among those who cross his path. You can find these on high-class Prikopy street or Pařížská boulevard or near Wenceslas Square, areas of heavy tourist traffic all-year long.

Doormen are minimal labor positions, unlike street men who are constantly on the move nabbing clients. They tolerate fewer insults. They always have the option to safely retreat inside the club's doors when there's inclement weather. Best of all, it's a fixed address they can return to every day without fail. A very cushy alternative to the street.

The major drawback about the doorman's position is it's a considerably lower-wage job given the ease of finding clients from their permanently fixed positions instead of roving across wider zones like their street-grifting cousins.

2) Club coachmen: Coachmen are dressed in perfect period garb, similar to doormen. I'll never forget the first time I'd seen a Prague coachman (have you ever seen a black man clad in 19th-century period attire?). Coachmen interrupt your gait towards Old Town Square as they attempt to deliver you inside one of the nearby nightclubs who pay their wage. Prepare to get harassed as you run the gauntlet from the lower end of Wenceslas Square, past the flea market on Havelská, down along Melantrichova and around the bend angling right, where at least five nightclubs strung together in a row await your business. If you look anything the part of the tourist or foreigner, you're doomed. Expect to get propositioned once every few feet.

3) Security guards: Security guards come in several varieties. First, there are the hulking monstrosities of human flesh guarding the turnstile-d gateways belonging to some of the newer supermarkets down around the Inner District. Take the new Billa on Vodičkova between the Wenceslas Square and Palackého street, for example. I believe the colossus on duty there is Angolan, and every time I swing by to shop, I always give him "the nod" or "the handshake," my way of acknowledging his existence and thanking him for it. I've noticed him sulking off in a corner as he manhandles his cellphone keypad, the big brute appearing rather unsure how to pass these idle hours since -- a) no one's going to rob this subterranean food store and b) he's unable to work as anything in town with his present rudimentary understanding of the Czech language.

Then you've got the security personnel guarding the armored trucks delivering and picking up cash from the Inner District's ATM machines. These are the meatheads, but the dangerous part is that these beefcakes pack heat. I've noticed one guy doing this job at least twice in recent weeks, usually in middle of the day.

I've tried understanding the psychological underpinnings of the job, too. Here the African in question must think: "Hey, most Czechs are downright intimidated by blacks, aren't they? They're tentative and uncertain around us and don't know quite what to expect, so why don't I use this fact to my advantage? I'll use my immense size to land me a job no Czech really takes seriously. And if I can continue polishing up my spoken Czech to a workable level, I can start issuing instructions to my direct reports. Perhaps this is even the best way to slowly claw my way up the Czech managerial ladder?

4) Exchange kiosk clerks: You find these all over town, catering to the exchange needs of the touring thousands simultaneously descending on Prague to photograph the Austrian-financed glories that comprise our so-called "Czech" heritage sites. Czechs don't change their money here, well-aware of the con which is the city's foreign exchange kiosk (preferring instead to exchange their cash at banks and similarly reputable firms). This being the case, the linguistic requirements for the clerk's job typically do not include Czech, ideal for the university-educated African unable to land a spot at a more traditional Czech company. I this to be the case from personal experience.

As word of the ease of landing such a job percolates throughout Prague's African community, expect to see the number of black kiosk employees rise.

5) Nightclub owners: When I began here back in 2002, one spot my friends and I liked to wind up our evenings at was the Marquis de Sade. Originally owned by an American castaway during the "Wild Nineties" heyday in the city, Sade had been sold at a certain point to Nigerian "P-Daddy," a pleasant proprietor who made a point of making all his customers feel right at home. P-Daddy would swing by all the tables in this huge place, shake everyone's hand individually, and introduce himself personally to every patron -- a classy touch in a city of Czech suicidal nihilists.

6) Ethnic products shops: Here again, hats off to the intrepid Nigerians for taking the initiative to found businesses which cater to the idiosyncratic needs of their growing constituency. From plantains, to cassava leaves, to goat meat, to rice, to okra, to spices uncommon in the Czech diet and unavailable in local stores, to magazines, to periodicals, to audio cassettes, to phone cards, everything in these shops originated from Africa for Africans. Two shops like this existed in Prague (last time I'd checked) -- one in Prague 4's "South City," or Jižní mĕsto in the local parlance, at the city's southern reaches, the another on Spálená ("burned") street close to Prague's historical center. These shops would also house internet cafés and copy centers, which were patronized by Czech clients as well. Douh did most of his shopping here.

7) Restaurant hustling: Similar to the Casino Doormen, these are the nattily-dressed Africans standing outside the downtown core's swanky restaurants, beckoning passers-by to enter.

8) Street hustling: Once the exclusive domain of the gypsies and other expatriates in Prague, I witnessed something remarkable upon my return to Prague following a three-year hiatus I thought I'd never see -- tens of blacks congregating near the well-trodden "T" intersection where Wenceslas Square meets Na Můstku, Na Příkopĕ, and 28. října (28th of October) streets. If you looked anything touristic, seemed in any way lost, or just naive enough to get entangled in this swarm of humanity slicing your way across the square, you would be likely bombarded by "offers." You'd take the flier, give it a look, toss it, and move on.

9) Prostitutes: Sadly, the Africans have become involved game in this too. I'd been approached in the street once -- in Italian -- by a stunning Senegalese hooker who seemed completely baffled when I'd responded to her question in American-inflected English. Seems as though Czechs aren't the only one up to profiling now, are they?

~~~~

Once I begin seeing blacks (not African-Americans here on contract from the US) working in Czech offices, showing up for morning coffee around the water cooler, or running to avoid being late for the morning train, I'll know immigration policy in the Czech Republic will have taken a turn for the better.

For now, Czechs have no better excuse than their Western European cousins for keeping the darker members of their society permanently downtrodden through socially-neutral glass ceilings set at obscenely low levels of achievement.

(excerpted from A Sad and Tragic Tale of Mister Douh, by Adam Daniel Mezei)

20. 04.

"Jungle Fever" -- Czech-Style

Adam Daniel Mezei Přečteno 7735 krát

You won't often see Czech men dating African women in this town. Since I've been living here, I've seen it perhaps once or twice, and even then you couldn't be certain the man at her side was Czech merely because he was Caucasian. The most popular interracial pairings seem to be Czech women with African men.

Lately, I've been thinking about the psychology behind all this, so I'm committing my ideas to screen tonight.

Perhaps the most superficial explanation I can muster for why this phenomenon exists has to do more with the Czech woman than her black partner. It is the village girl's deep desire to want to put her overbearing and old-fashioned post-Communist parents in their place that forms the biggest incentive for her interracial pairing. Imagine the coronary the family must have suffered from once she reveals she's dating an African, an enticing prospect indeed for a young girl from the Czech sticks. The girl somehow wishes to prove to her parents that she has total control over at least something in her lowly life, living in an insignificant Middle European nation which possesses no European executive power. All this must deliver to her such an explosive surge of personal power, that her resistance crumbles. If the "relationship" survives this initial rupture to the familial harmony, it will eventually become about mutual admiration.

Where did they meet? How did they meet? Why do they wish to remain together? For which ultimate purpose? These questions cascade one after the other.

Their pairing flies in the face of every single convention that has ruled this society like an iron fist for centuries. Along come these two idealists who catch rural Czech society unawares. Their bold decision to be together against all odds is a cold slap in face, the gauntlet thrown.

For the African man -- if he is a traditionalist -- his bride will form a part of his extended African family. Unless she is merely his plaything, an airy woman with whom he can sexual do with what he will, fulfilling his desire to be king over his own narrow domain of influence, then a time will come when he shall invite his bride back to his homeland. Due introductions will in turn be made to his family (again with the respective hues and cries), and at some stage -- if this Czech woman is ultimately accepted into his family's fold -- discussions will soon be held regarding the couple's plans to wed and have children.

If she is serious about having a future with her African, there are many things she must consider. It will require a considerable degree of selfless empathy and a sort of human compassion for the other which I don't see growing on trees around these parts. For that reason, I can't see too many Czech girls taking this ride to the end.

I'm not saying there haven't been a few Czech anthropological success stories out there. I'm merely saying that there hasn't been enough of a societal baseline. Not nearly enough time has passed for black people to become silent features of Prague society for this to be acceptable, and it will take a strong bond of love and affection for these two to get over the hump of traditional Czech racism. Believe me, few Czech women have analyzed it this way.

So if such a pairing is not ultimately consummated, what then are the true intentions of a Czech woman and an African man being together? In choosing to profess the existence of their relationship to the entire world?

I posit that it is mostly erotic. While it is indeed possible to combine the best of all worlds -- great sexual chemistry, stimulating conversation, and a wonderful family life -- it is certainly not the norm. A Czech woman and an African man taking the bold plunge to go public about their tryst are indeed taking a considerable risk.

Thankfully, Prague is not a violent city. The African man will not suffer a beating at the hand of Prague's delicate male lemmings, though I cannot vouch similarly for other towns across the Czech Republic where unemployment is rife and Czechs are in search of the nearest scapegoat. A black man and a Czech woman walking on Prague's streets will merely garner stares, though even the incidence of these aren't as frequent as they once were five years ago. What most people are not saying, however, is similar to what I've just outlined here -- that their "relationship" is a facade for what is essentially a sexual coming together of mutual convenience.

Douh, himself, has been involved in one these relationships for a while. He freely tells me about the times his lady friend causes him extreme mental anguish -- still ongoing as of the date of this writing. I've met this Simona of his in passing. To me, she doesn't seem worldly in the least. She doesn't speak English. While she might have quite a bit to say, she's bashful and untalkative in public. As first impressions go, she is decidedly unremarkable.

Yet what is not expressed, though entirely understood, is that her fawning nature is compensated for behind closed doors. She plays tyrant to Douh's smooth operator.

I'm not judging Douh for being with someone like her, someone so seemingly meek and unassuming, though manipulative in ways unimaginable in private. Everyone needs a companion, and sometimes even the most miserable company is better than going bone dry in the sack. That Simona doesn't offer more beyond the sexual realm is no surprise, but this only proves my theory.

So will the residual effects be of having more black-on-white matchings on Prague's streets? Will Czech society be affected positively, or will it have a reverse effect than the one these various dreamers, afflicted with "jungle fever," envision?

For answers to these questions we turn to the example of the more established democracies like the UK, Canada, and the US. There, interracial pairing has become a more routine occurrence. In my native Toronto, for instance, there is no longer anything outstanding about interracial couplings. It's just not revolutionary anymore.

Can the Czech Republic learn from these Western exemplars? No yet, I believe. Not until a black can receive a fair shake in this town.

At the end of the day, Prague remains a white polis. It's not even a town where a black person can enjoy a due measure of freedom of action or expression because Czechs fully expect "their" blacks to keep their places in society, to tow the firmly scrawled racial line. Since Africans are here at the behest of a tolerant Czech majority, which is willing to tolerate the faintest of black trickles in their country provided they do not settle for the long-term, Africans must behave themselves.

A mimicry of Western Europe's "multi-culti" society? That, alas, is something Czechs are today unwilling to stomach, Heaven Forbid. Blacks in their capital are okay up to a point, though it has not been determined what that critical mass is since there has yet to be a backlash against them.

~~~~

Czechs girls dig black men because they're different. They enjoy black mates because they don't behave like Czech men, nor do they possess the same basic anatomy. Black men approach the male-female dynamic in a way which makes being with one a forbidden and dangerous game.

I have often challenged such Czech girls with my views, and the responses I've received have been as I expected: pithy and piddling.

I've heard things said like: "I like how a black man looks against my skin," while I've never heard such a girl tell me of the tremendous respect she has for his academic background, or for his views about family. You hear about the delights to be found within the folds of the Egyptian cotton sheets, but never about the fact that he's well-read, linguistically-gifted, or that he's a wonderful father to his children from a previous marriage.

Another salient feature is that none of the Czech women I've spoken to in interracial relationships have been from urban, university educated backgrounds. None of them were well-employed, either, save for one older Czech woman who spent her young exile years outside of Czechoslovakia, only to return to this country with her African-American spouse following Wall Fall. Naturally, this brings into doubt which parts are more "African" about her African-American mate, but my example still holds.

For all the women who hail from the Czech countryside, where the men on offer are either country bumpkins or rabid misogynist swine which these girls would be otherwise compelled to marry from an early age, being with an African partner allows them to rebel. It is their first brave step along a journey which will take them away from a horrific home, and likely not their last.

~~~~
If the onset of more black-on-white relationships in the Czech Republic does not progress beyond the sexual curiosity stage, a more multiracial Czech country will in fact have a deleterious rather than a harmonizing effect. If Africans ever expect to become a fixture of Czech society -- and they must if the Czech Republic wishes to become a full partner in the European unity experiment -- they cannot remain the playthings of iconoclastic Czech girls. They cannot only be the objects of featherbrained Czech debutantes keen on enjoying an exotic no-strings-attached fling in the absence of a keener understanding of all the ramifications involved; and as you've just read, there are several to consider.

Mere carnal satisfaction is not the promise of immigration and integration for this rapidly diminishing population. Not at all.

But will Czech girls ever learn? Perhaps once their curiosities run out.

That time, however, is still a long way off.

(excerpted from A Sad and Tragic Tale of Mister Douh, by Adam Daniel Mezei)

14. 04.

Irrational Czech Immigration Fears

Adam Daniel Mezei Přečteno 4226 krát

Allow me to now debunk the most common complaints I field about potential immigrants to the Czech Republic. Each claim will be followed by a counterclaim, which should make this slightly easier to follow:

Claim: The Czech Republic cannot afford to absorb new immigrants from all over the world! It doesn't possess the deep social safety nets other large European states have accumulated over the years. Immigrant absorption will massively strain the Czech economy which its present budget cannot possibly accommodate.

Counterclaim: Not true! Money excuses are ciphers for latent Czech isolationism coming to the fore. If the findings of Czech demographers are to be in any way believed, a massive drop in the Czech population will occur sometime around 2050. If the projected slump isn't counteracted by a steady influx of immigrant newcomers to the Czech lands, this nation will suffer from population decline. Full stop.

The Czech national birthrate -- presently less than two children per couple -- will hardly compensate for this dramatic drop; that is, unless something dramatic happens in the interim, such as the government suddenly deciding to make child-rearing lucrative again through child subsidies, though even this isn't very likely, given how this smacks of Communist-era practice.

Discussions about money and finances, or what the Czech authorities can and cannot afford, covers up the more pernicious traditional Czech fear of the other, which all societies are victims of. Some societies have chosen to face it and contend with this fear, while others have retreated into ivory towers of their own making, fearful of what tomorrow may bring. The Czech people are one of those nations.

Czech immigration fears are now combined with a kind of pseudo-scholarship Czech academicians now use to highlight the negative immigration track records of the Czech Republic's European neighbors. These are intended to remind the Czech electorate of the impending calls for a clawing back of these nations erstwhile liberal immigration policies, citing major backlashes in countries like France, The Netherlands, Italy, and Denmark. States that have been burned by immigration are representative examples for the Czech isolationists who choose to use it like ammunition in their crusades to prove that immigration is a bad thing for the Czech Republic.

There are calls for Czech lawmakers to craft a national migration policy that shares little in common with the Western European states.

Claim: Only immigrants from Slovakia, Poland, Croatia, Serbia, Ukraine, Russia, Romania, Bulgaria, and the Slavic nations should be invited to settle here by the Czech Republic.

Counterclaim: Yet another of the deceptive weapons employed by domestic anti-immigration agitators to ensure the Czech Republic remains a white, Slavic, and culturally monolithic nation for the foreseeable future. The above claim is augmented by a thicket of crafty corollaries: how it will be easier for other Slavs to blend in with the Czech Slavic mainstream. How all Slavic tongues are essentially similar how much simpler it will be for newcomers from the above restricted pool of nations to master Czech. How the locals will accept them more readily because they are not visible minorities and vary little in attitude and temperament from the Czech majority.

What is clear is that a 21st-century mindset will not permeate thoughts of most Czechs over the span of just two post-Revolutionary decades, a definite hopeful signal. But at some point a comprehensive multicultural policy must be imposed upon the Czech nation if it is not to cause undue damage to itself and impair its future competitiveness globally. Locals cannot continue dwelling in a bubble of their own making. How often must it be reinforced that the world is no longer about nations, as much as it is about interwoven global economies? Joining the 21st-century world for Czechs also includes welcoming all sorts of newcomers with varying economic backgrounds and cultural approaches than just the low-hanging Slavic fruit from the region.

Claim: The Czech Republic only seeks low-cost labor migration to supplement the temporary shortfalls in its native pool.

Counterclaim: The Czech Republic has lost its advantage as a low-cost manufacturing and construction hub forever. When these sectors' present fortunes dry up -- it hardly matters when, the point is that they eventually shall -- this nation must orient its economy around something else.

When the Czech state will require those new minds to power the new knowledge-based sectors which will become the revised focus of its national economy, from where will these newcomers be sourced? White, Slavic, eastern neighbors, who have typically been employed in low-skilled plumbing, cleaning, or carpentry/construction jobs across the Continent? Or from other regions of the globe who have made high-technology and science the focus of their national curricula, now currently blessed with a surplus of brainpower?

Moreover, will the Chinese tolerate shoddy output from their Central and Eastern European hi-tech subsidiaries (we should expect these, too, because they're in the pipeline) all because of a dearth of qualified brainpower in the region? Clearly they will not. Clearly, as well, that the qualified employment shortfalls cannot be compensated by the present pool of Slovak immigrant farmers and similar Ukrainian or Polish low-cost imports, with primarily experiences in the agricultural sectors in their home countries. Since there aren't enough technical people in all of Slovakia and Ukraine combined to fill the the empty technical spaces, given that most Slovaks and Ukrainians are still learning etiquette and how to read, the Czech Republic will be compelled to seek candidates further afield.

Claim: Non-white immigrants invite incurable strains of disease and potential genetic mutation into the Czech national gene pool.

Counterclaim: Utter nonsense! The truth is rather that it is the ethnic Czechs who are often most frequently ill and whose DNA would be saved by the rapid injection of new chromosomal strains to their existing national pool. The incessant sniffling, mucous snorting, or gagging hacking coughs which assault my eardrums when I do my shopping or mill about in public is proof positive that the Czech genetic evolution has reached its apogee. Even with winters as cold as they can sometimes be in the Czech Republic, there is little reason for Czechs to become as ill as they do provided they properly bundle up. Consider as well, the premature balding heads -- both male and female -- and witness the deformed septums and deep-set beady green eyes -- again both on men and women -- which makes some Czechs appear reptilian. The poor oral and physical hygiene doesn't help matters any.

And something else about females as well. You have surely seen the emaciated females out on the street going about their daily chores? While some who might consider this to be the object of perfect statuesque beauty or the so-called "model's figure," all this proves is a case of burgeoning domestic malnutrition. As the Czech female body shape comes mostly in "all chest, no rear end" sizes, some more meat on the bones might be urgently called for. Also, men often possess dramatically poor muscle tone and come in varying heights, yet another unreliably random phenomenon for a nation safely nestled in a geographic crater, as the Czech Republic is. There should be more uniformity in excellence, not uniformity of weak genetic organisms.

An apt suggestion would be to properly synchronize these national disparities and chronic genetic imbalances through the prompt addition of new strains to the gene pool. A national campaign -- complete with television commercials, magazine ads, an online campaign, and perhaps a few books -- must show the merits of interbreeding of young Czech males and females with "studs" from far beyond Czech Republic's borders.

I fear for how Czech children may eventually appear by mid-century if the national overconsumption of pork and starch does not cease soon.

Limiting this must become the government's first priority before any policies about bringing in immigrant outsiders can be considered.

Claim: Amongst new immigrants, it is the Africans who are responsible for the bulk of criminal activity, moral laxity, and the primary contributors to the creation of an overall climate of fear and loathing regarding new migrants in the capital.

Counterclaim: Again, there are few proven statistics that show this to definitely be the case. Arguments against bringing Africans here in greater numbers must of course be balanced by relevant scholarship. What my discussions with Douh, Mahmoud, and some of the others have mainly revealed is that they are happy to be here and would gladly contribute to the strengthening of the Czech nation if given a platform to do so, in the form of equitable workplace opportunities or through a clear track to Czech citizenship.

Czechs extrapolate the high proportion of Africans working in so-called "sin" industries as indicative of a universal strain of African criminality. The unfair perception is that Prague's Africans are attempting to hoodwink the entire nation in the same way they tend to deceive Prague's tourists into spending their money at the city's sex clubs. This is the primary excuse cited by the Czech Republic's immigration opponents.

To suggest that all Africans are involved in criminal activity is absurd. While I do concur that earning undeclared income through artifice -- income which goes untaxed -- is unacceptable behavior, I won't go as far as to equate all undeclared income on a par with rape, assault, or murder. Undeclared cash income is in the "mild" category of crimes, and if Czechs are singling out Africans as being particular offenders in this category, then we might as well indict an entire nation of Czech offenders. Clearly this cannot be used as a excuse to bar more Africans from coming to this country.

As for moral laxity? There are no better practitioners of this than the Czechs themselves. Shall I enumerate the countless examples? Let us begin with the rampant sexual promiscuity, in a ways seldom seen anywhere outside of more Mediterranean cultures. Or how about having intercourse with a willing female partner before she even learns your name? Unreal, you say? Well it's right here in Prague and it's been done before. Marital affairs are strikingly common in the Czech Republic, and Czechs engaged in philandering have no qualms about introducing their lovers to their circle of peers, often with the direct knowledge of their present spouses. I have pity for Czech children, as should you.

Petty thefts are quite common amongst Czechs. Feigning ignorance of problems with a simple shrug of the shoulders, is also common. You want more examples of moral laxity? How about the lack of a desire to take responsibility for problems, fobbing off culpability onto others? It's all here already, without the addition of external "corrupting" influences. So what can Czechs say now in their defense?

Africans contributing to the overall climate of fear? I've already explained how this is mostly media-spun scaremongering. A smoke and mirrors sleight of hand to account for their own citizenry's shortcomings.

Africans do no more nor less than any native Praguer does to contribute to the overall climate of fearing and loathing in their city.

Native Czechs' questionable actions and habits are no less responsible for the impression Prague maintains in the minds of rural Czechs as a dangerous place to let your children roam free after midnight. This incidence hasn't a thing to do with color of skin or country of origin.

Try taking a spin in Czech road traffic. Ever try crossing a "zebra" in the downtown core without being overrun?

If that factor alone doesn't contribute to the climate of fear in the city, I don't know what does.

~~~~

Bottom line: we must stimulate the arrival of greater numbers of non-white immigrants to this country in the very near-term. Not a vast number, mind you, but a sizable enough sample size that whereby a more accurate baseline can be established by Czech demographic experts (not the witchdoctors).

Until that day arrives, all of the above Claims are without scientific merit. They remain merely speculative, prejudicial, and belie an irrational level of fear on the part of Czechs which is unworthy of a nation carrying within it their veins the bloodlines of Premyslid kings and Hussite warriors.

(excerpted from A Sad and Tragic Tale of Mister Douh, by Adam Daniel Mezei)

08. 04.

Dinner With Douh

Adam Daniel Mezei Přečteno 3151 krát

Douh said he occasionally gets a day-off, so I proposed we go out for dinner on one of them. That's what we did this evening. We headed for a place where I'm normally seen in the company of females, but the chef is so divine there that I made an exception in Douh's case. Here's to hoping that no one gets the wrong idea. Let me paint a picture so you can get a sense of what it must've been like for D.

It was one of those more upscale Prague watering holes.

Without knowing in advance where we were headed, Douh opted for a pinstripe getup and matching coat -- a sartorial turnaround compared to how he normally dresses which made me do a double-take. Standard street wardrobe and gear for Prague's Men in Black includes a jumper, insulated hiking boots, several layers of sweaters, a thick down coat, leggings (he told me, I didn't see these personally!), tube socks, a hat with thick ear flaps, a scarf, and mittens. Since our situation is normally reversed, I'd dressed down, but on what promised to be this most casual of evenings, I became one of Douh's unwitting fashion victims, dressed to kill as he was.

The patrons gawked as we entered. Here's what they must have been thinking: either we're two foreigners -- in which case it was acceptable for a black and a white man to be seen together in public -- or we were two resident foreigners, who still "haven't gotten used to the way things are done here." There isn't a soul in downtown Prague who would have the courage to mutter something racial, but their looks told it all. You just know what's on peoples' minds as their eyes follow us to the back of the restaurant where we take up our perch, alongside the staircase leading to the bar downstairs. Douh in his pinstripe zoot suit and fedora, me with my wetback and trenchcoat, everyone must be imagining: what are they pushing, these two?

Our menus arrive. The waitress takes our orders. I tell Douh under my breath to request whatever he fancies, to pay no mind to prices. I desperately hope he doesn't think I'm trying to grease him. It's only right that I do this since a) he was the driving force behind Prague's Men In Black, and b) he didn't get paid for fixing contacts, meetings, and diverting more of his energy to making the article what it was than earning a living. I'm likely indebted to him for much more than a dinner, though I try not to keep score, because I know the Africans don't. Douh might beg to differ and inform me that it's rather me who's helping them -- flooding their predicament with much-needed exposure -- though this also does little to diminish my sense of being beholden to them.

The miserable conclusion to this story is that since no white people are in any sort of mortal danger, no Czech government body will act upon any of my recommendations.

Douh's tomato cube salad and chicken plate arrive. I ask him if he'd like to order anything else, so he kindly requests a coke. As I chew my own food and watch Douh meticulously dissect a chicken wing, I have an urge to ask him how often he can afford to buy meat knowing, as I do, that the bulk of his earnings are wired down to Bangui or are consumed by other overheads, but I can't summon the courage. I never realized what a pleasure it can be to witness someone relishing their food, their savoring of every morsel (note to self: eat slower. Shoveling it in like a barbarian does have a tendency to be so unbecoming).

Our conversation shifts to trivial matters, and somehow our banter seems more stilted than customarily. Weird, I thought, in that we're not located too far from where we normally chat, as the crow flies.

There's a touch of tension in the air and I sense that Douh's not at his most relaxed, like he's on tenterhooks from knowing that he'd never step into a joint like this alone. I get the feeling I've placed him into a pressure-cooker -- a white Czech straitjacket. It's at once a world Douh's fully familiar with -- even an active part of -- yet one he never fully engages with. For the Africans, this is culturally-sophisticated society that extends a hand to feed them but also spanks them back into line. It's a Czech safety mechanism that ensures our darker-skinned newcomers learn to keep their place, early. A status of permanent second-class citizenship, a price they're willing to cough up for the benefits today's Czech dream allows. Doesn't sound like much of a bargain to me, even though I know how Česko is a major step up in the world for them.

I pave over all of these corrosive thoughts with the inspirational belief that I'm "living the example I want to see." I'm "Ghandi-ing" it in my own sort of way.

Still, I'm offput by Douh's silence. I watch him chew with just about the most attention to detail I've ever seen in an eater, though I know this heightened attention to detail is borne of a different sort of disease: the desire not to mess up. The desire to want to impress those who might otherwise judge him harshly. The desire not to make a fool of himself in a land where the natives are only too willing to accuse him of the worst things or for the slightest slip-up. People are always at their most perfect when they're most afraid. Only then do their actions become fluid and flawless.

It would seem that my premeditated attempt to foster a deeper dialogue between us backfired tonight. I hope this doesn't set us back too far, because -- damn -- because I knew before I even set foot in this place that this gambit was going to be risky.

(excerpted from A SAD AND TRAGIC TALE OF MISTER DOUH, by Adam Daniel Mezei)

06. 04.

"Central African Republic 101"

Adam Daniel Mezei Přečteno 3126 krát

(excerpted from A SAD AND TRAGIC TALE OF MISTER DOUH, by Adam Daniel Mezei)

As luck would have it, Douh's turned out to be quite the resource.

I've been to Africa before and I know more than a thing or two from my readings, but what Douh tells me about a day in the life of a citizen of his country, the Central African Republic – a country I'd only known about from my research into Jean-Bédel Bokassa's brutal, cannibalistic dictatorship – shell shocks me. I should publicize these, as more than a few Czechs who have slanted views about Africans would quickly iron out their prejudices about "scamming Africans." I'm talking about those same people who consider the Africans to be some kind of monolithic entity, with no differentiation in culture, language, nation, etc. Just "Africans."

This aspect about Central Europeans drives me nuts, and I'm getting tired of hearing it too. Half the time I find myself wondering how a nation that enjoys more than thirty percent internet penetration in homes can still harbor such backward views about a population that outnumbers Europe's population several times over. Don't people surf that same net, or read anything else than the tabloid press in this country? (I won't accept the excuse that a nation of only 10 million stranded at Europe's heart can only speak a single language that has a following of at most 20 million people globally, thereby making 90% of the net inaccessible in English). Pardon me, but where's the logic in that? If this nation isn't stepping up the plate to swiftly do something about this chronic state of affairs then someone's definitely got their head nestled “where the sun don't shine.”

Douh told me today how a Czech crown – one single Czech crown – is worth more than twenty “sefas.” I didn't understand at first, so I looked up later on the net and discovered that he was referring to the Communauté Financiére Africaine, the African Financial Community, franc, hence "CFA." I asked him what one could buy for twenty CFAs, and he said that one crown buys a whole kilo of rice in his country, one of the world's ten poorest.

So, in short, every single crown he earned out here on the streets was worth something to him. Every opportunity to flip a few crowns or do some meaningful remunerative work was just what he'd have to do – short of pushing Prague's ever-popular designer drugs which, he told me, he'd never deal no matter how desperate he'd get. In temps often dipping to minus ten centigrade on the dial – Douh and the other Africans would stand out on the streets “catching” (their word) tourists in search of some “fast love” (their words again). I laughed.

I'm taking a shine to this guy because here you've got all of these Czechs casting aspersions about the Africans' penchant for earning dishonest livings while in the meantime you've got these brave dudes – quite obviously not built for these unforgiving temps – standing forlornly out here on these cobbled corners trying to earn their keep any way they can. If this is the concept of "dishonest" and "easy," then I'd like to know what happens when it really gets bad.

Is making a living off of sex tourism any less dignified than trying to carpetbag a living off of the thousands – millions, even – of tourists descending on Prague during all seasons of the year, and overcharging them for tschotschkes they can't even use? Some Czech guy slaps up a kiosk flogging maps or gewgaws or whatever to unsuspecting tourists without as much as raising a finger to market said business – I mean, the tourists are out on the street in droves whether you think about offering them a product or service, or not – and this latter option is the more honorable of the two choices? Not according to my logic. In both cases, it's perhaps best said that they are entirely passive pursuits. It's just that most Czechs simply can't see themselves doing the job which the Africans do, only because there is no other job left for them to take. So they knock the Africans for doing the only job left to them through no fault of their own.

I find fault with Czechs knocking these same Africans for entering just about the only field open to them, all because Czechs aren't developed enough to permit Africans to take the desk jobs these same Africans are more than qualified to take. Douh, as I've since learned, is a hydraulic engineer! He can't find any straight work in his profession. Can't seem to find a single Czech employer who's willing to take a chance on him – for reasons this society is still working out for itself – so in the meantime Douh needs to live. No matter how he chooses to earn, his prospects are always going to be eminently better than were he to remain behind in his country, according to the above arithmetic.

I'm angered when I hear his stories. This sort of "white-gloved" discrimination just wouldn't wash where I was born. Here were are in this country, two years since joining the European Union, and qualified, educated, and moreover, legal newcomers -- like Douh -- still can't find a reputable job worthy of their skills, even when they speak fluent Czech! How frustrating!

Douh appears to trust me, and at least I've got something to smile about. So far he's been telling me about stuff that angers him about Czech and Prague society.

I believe he's down with the journalistic goals I'm trying to achieve, as well. The deadline for this piece is fast-approaching, but I sense I'm going to be friends with this guy long after the article is put to bed. Besides, there's just way too much for just a single article on this subject, and I can't possibly do the subject matter justice even if I pull it off with any degree of competence. There is no editor on the planet who's going to be permit me to cover absolutely everything I'm learning about the Africans.

It's been like entering a minefield. You can see across the clear expanse of the field, but the instant you take your first step, you quickly realize there's much more than meets the naked eye. Best advice in situations like these is to tread carefully.

Archiv článků: duben 2009

Typical African Job Descriptions in Prague

"Jungle Fever" -- Czech-Style

Irrational Czech Immigration Fears

Dinner With Douh

"Central African Republic 101"

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