Um...how exactly do I put this delicately, dear ctenari?

Perhaps I'll just come out with it, straight-from-the-gut style -- why the hell is there such a vast shortage of good male teachers under 30 years of age in the Czech school system?

Anyone have an answer?

Yeah, yeah, I'm sure we've all got our grab bag of Top Ten reasons. How about this...I'll list my Top Three for you in case you're curious:

1) lousy pay.
2) lousy image.
3) lousy upward career potentials.

A veritable lousy trifecta.

Allow me to deconstruct these for you, one-by-one:


Lousy pay:

No secret here, but life in the Big Bad Golden Town don't cost what it used to, kiddies. By the looks of the upward price levels in this here metropole, and with rates set to skyrocket by 2009 -- guaranteed -- it's not exactly a Stromovka picnic living on a paltry 15,000 crown monthly salary, gross.

With pay like that, it's likely our sweet educating Mr./Miss/Mrs. Novak(ova) is living at home with an elderly parent, in some socialist-era rent-controlled apartment or in a panelak. Or maybe they're the inheritor of said rent-controlled apartment or panelak.

Yes, like you I'm thanking our lucky stars that Prague isn't quite Bucharest...yet. Accommodation and property prices in the "Manhattan of the Wild East" are on Big Apple levels over there, if you haven't heard, and even a nice 70-90 sq. metre job here in the Czech capital likely gobbles up anywhere between 33-75% of a person's salary.

But carrying on with our example of the ascerbic Mr. Novak, who continues to live with his doting old single mom somewhere down in Opatov, the latter who still hasn't learned to operate a broadband internet connection (a Czech mobile phone doesn't count!).

When Novak tells his mother that he's got a great idea for a business, or that he's ready to innovate the stodgy primary and secondary educational sectors of the CR with a wonderful new-fangled idea he's recently read about on the 'net or in Fast Company, she sniggers, "okay Mr. Big Shot...why don't you pass me two lumps sugar and a tea bag while you're dreaming up your big shot American-style ideas, kid. Harrumph!"

Novak likely loses his cool, storms out of the flat, dashes to the nearby hospoda to quell his shaken nerves with a few pulls of Absolut and a Pilsnicka chaser, then comes home in a stupor. He returns to school the next day to take out his mother's indifference on his poor hapless students, who crave nothing more than to be educated.

Ho-hum.

Worse, the only solace our Mr. Novak likely receives is from his (mostly female) colleagues at school. All his own childhood friends have likely gone onto bigger and badder projects; or worse, they've moved abroad to the "West."

Novak ends up feeling like a lump. He likely feels undervalued and wholly unappreciated, professionally. Educational levels in his classroom continue to suffer as he sinks ever-deeper into an endless spiral of indifference and animosity, with no end in the sight to the darkness.

When's the last time Czech teachers received a raise? Sorry to tell you, but even Ondrej "the Very Wiley Fox" Liska -- all Western-educated, young, and media-trained -- can't pull a rabbit out of a hat on this one. Czech teachers will continue to earn bupkes. Mark my words.


Lousy image:

I'm not making headlines here when I tell you that Prague isn't India.

Teachers are not revered in the Czech Crater like they are on the Subcontinent; the latter's contributions to society more worthwhile than the proverbial golden fleece. Students kiss the ground Indian educators walk on. They address them respectfully as "Sir" or "Madam" and raise their hands respectfully when desiring to answer a question. They wish to emulate them.

What's more, it isn't a shame to reveal to your colleagues and society at large that you teach. In fact, it's a kudo of the highest order! To admit that you teach...hot damn, what a calling!

Let's take Prague as our comparative example, and our friendly down-on-his-luck Pan Novak.

Novak: "'zdar Jirko, lousy day at school today."
Jiri: "Jezismarja, Honzo, when are you going to find a real job?! Why don't you work for one of those Austrian freight-forwarding companies over at Ruzyne, or maybe one of those high-flying call centres in Prague 4?"
Novak: "But I do have a real job! I help kids develop into sensible, law-abiding, upstanding Czech citizens. What greater calling in life is there than that?"
Jiri: "You, Honzo? A real job? Give me a break. Kamos, you're a goddamn teacher. You earn 15,000 crowns a month, a real Rothchild, you are. What are you going to do with a sum like that, fill my Range Rover's gas tank?"

Et cetera, et cetera...

Novak leaves the meeting in a sulk. No matter how finely he slices it for Jiri, his friend rebukes him at every turn. The man can't get an ounce of respect. In fact, Jiri likely considers him less than a "real male."

So what's the net result?

Novak returns to his classroom the following day and continues not giving a right damn whether his expectant students learn those critical soft skills vitally necessary to survive in our new cutthroat Western-dominated workforce.

When students pose engaging, incisive questions during his lectures, Novak gets uppity. He doesn't suffer fools gladly, and Czech education continues to spiral downward.


Lousy upward career potentials:

Honestly now. Considering how many former dyed-in-the-wool Hammer and Sickle types there are teaching our youngsters in the secondary and tertiary educational systems -- poisoning their minds with all manner of Old World thinking, constant criticism, and blasting them with twisted messages that they can be absolutely nothing they dream of being -- do you really think a thirtysomething teacher can expect to rise in the employment ranks before he's 45?

Highly doubtful...

Why should a young teacher give her/his all when there's no pot of gold waiting for them at the end of the Bohemian rainbow?

Moreover, how is a male educator -- say, our loveable Mr. Novak -- to stack up against his high-flying corporate-clone beer-guzzling male colleagues? You know who I'm talking about, here's the profile:

** drives very fast in his shiny German car, regardless of whether there are people or tourists in his immediate path.
** is god's gift to the female race: "What do you mean you don't want to go out with me tomorrow night? You a lesbian or something?"
** could care little about his personal health. Drinks like a fish, smokes like a chimney, eats like a swine, and carries around at least twenty extra kilos of weight like a sack of potatoes, and to hell with all that. "We have socialized medicine in the CR, they can always fix me if something goes wrong, no?"

I can go on...

So as a blog-y bonus for you today, loyal ctenari, here's my Top Three List of Male Czech Educators, for the record:

** Jiri Pehe, New York University in Prague (UNYP): You know, I wish all Czech educators had Mr. Pehe's noggin. Not only is the man completely bilingual, but he knows the inner-workings of the Czech geopolitical scene like the back of his hand, and can cite and quote at will. If you've never heard him in action, pop by UNYP sometime and see it for yourself. It's no secret he's the go-to man for most Western news agencies.
** Jan Urban, New York University in Prague (UNYP): Investigative journalist and educator par excellence. Never have the courage to accept merely the surface details with this man, my friends. Never. Urban's analysis of the radar base issue is just stellar.
** Rob Cameron, Radio Prague, BBC, Deutsche Welle: Rob is not your typical non-Czech Czech. He cares about his students very much. He wants to equip them with the very best in critical thinking skills, and the results speak for themselves. I know.

Just one problem with all of these three...the Czech educational system could never afford to pay what these men are truly worth.

And they're worth their weight in gold. Believe me.

How do we convince the Fox, though, that their Czech counterparts deserve to earn more than presently?

Hey, you got any ideas?