What the hell does that mean, you ask?

I haven't the foggiest clue either.

By the looks of it, it's just a bunch of barbaric gibberish. A concatenation of various grunts and syllables, all coalescing into a unified sentence conveying some sort of mysterious idea or demand. Ooga booga booga! Hear me roar!

You know, I have a lot of respect for my conversational opposites in this country, Cesko. I am constantly enlightened by the unique left-brained ingenuity which is the trademark of the Czech nation, dare I say race. I'm also endlessly floored by the innovative never-say-die attitudes of the various technical people I've worked with over the time I've been here, and I admit that I haven't got anything on these various women and men.

In a dark room with just a screwdriver and a few bolts, many of my colleagues are skilled enough to build positively fantastic plastic machines. Time machines, even.

But then you have the neanderthal types.

You know the profile of the males I'm talking about, those who continue to spend too much time at mommy's side, getting her to fight life's various battles. Mommy's sundry services include anything from washing your clothes, cooking your dinner, tidying up your bathroom, stroking your fragile ego, to choosing out your ideal partner. She also criticizes you for any potential novel idea you might have, and nips a lot of your otherwise influential entrepreneurial spirit in the bud.

Mommy has dibs on this sort of treatment all the way until you're about 40 years old.

Like I said, you know who you are...

Regrettably, one of the side effects of this sort of maternal overprotectionism is an occasional lack of conversational tact. Since Mommy isn't exactly overly particular in the manner and means by which she address you (and perhaps your father), you've taken in her technique by osmosis (not your fault, in other words!) and you employ a similar approach once you step outside the family apartment's door.

You address people you don't agree with as "fool," "imbecile," or "idiot."

When you dislike the treatment you receive at the Tax Office or at the Municipal Court, for instance, you refer to these hapless men and women who innocently serve your various needs as "Bolsheviks," "Ruskies," or "Commies."

People who are too service-oriented are either "American" or "Western."

People who smile too much are either "freaks" or "calculating."

Czech and Slovak women who date or marry non-Czech men are "traitors," "mistresses," or "money-grubbers."

You see what I'm building up to here?

When are we going to learn to speak properly? When are we going to learn to have respect for our conversational opposites? Are we going to carry on "stoning" people because we don't like the things we say?

How long is it going to take those talented-beyond-their-wildest-dreams young people of this city -- you know, the ones who can still change for the better, not the hopeless ones of the Former Era -- to adapt the expressions and phrases in their lexicon to reflect more civilized banter?

If you're anything like me, you walk away from interactions like any of the above scratching your head and wondering what brought all of this on?

Worse, you'll never have anyone frontally attack you with such statments.

Like a great colleague of mine from California (and one of the hottest salesmen at www.AAAAuto.cz, by the way) always tells me: head-to-head, Czechs will always "out-subtle" Americans.

I, rather, avoid such euphemistic niceties and call the thing what it is: passive-aggression.

A word to the wise: there will be plenty of people whose opinions will rub you the wrong way in the future, dear friends. The more closely-aligned we become with the mysterious ways of the Western world as we continue to open up our markets, and when the time comes for us to take on the EU Presidency at the beginning of 2009, calling our various disagreeing European interlocutors and confreres "fools," "cretins," or "pathetic idiots" just ain't going to cut the mustard, you see.

We have such a capacity for adapting and change.

Let's start learning that lesson today...