In honour of the upcoming 18th-annual Prague Writer's Festival (PWF) and in keeping with the event's overall theme, I thought I'd hearken back to the spirit of that amazing experiment -- short-lived as it was -- known as the "Prague Spring."

::: cue Age of Aquarius music, or a track from Dee-Lite, perhaps "Groove Is In the Heart"? :::

I've been thinking a lot about this lately -- the creation of something known as a "Gross Unity Index," or GUI, for the Czech Republic.

I believe I've been living in the nation long enough to comment upon the unity issue with a fair degree of competence. I've signed enough work contracts, rented enough property, had enough meetings with bank officers, purchased enough supplies, done enough runs to the corner potraviny (grocery store), not to mention having had more than enough interactions with co-workers on various freelance projects, to know precisely what I'm on about.

Being entirely unsubtle about this, as is my habit, it's painfully clear to this here non-Czech resident that Czechs -- at least here in Prague -- harbour a genuine disdain for one another. When this is connected to the recent Communist past, or whether this is something more deep-seated and innate is up for discussion (in the comments below).

Frankly, it's an animus quite heart-rending to observe; a schadenfreunde that goes on hiatus during particular Czech(oslovak) crises, such as the above-mentioned vertiginous 1968 heights, when Czechs and Slovaks banded together with a unity of purpose stronger than adamantium to resist the straightjacketing incursions of the Medved, the Soviet Bear.

We all know what become of August 1968...

The Warsaw Pact invaded, the USSR parked their vodka-soused bums here for more than 20 years, we were forced to learn the rudiments of the Russian tongue -- with such gems as a Czech colleague once recounted to me over Moravian red, at the time taught by a Russian pedagogue in high school: "...so now class we'll be reading from Les Miserables, a classic by Frenchman Victor GUGO..." what with the absence of the letter "h" in the Russian tongue -- and our Neo-Communist quislings took helm in launching the two decades' long chill known as Normalization. They stuck their greasy sausage fingers into the occupationist's goulash pot, enriching themselves on the backs of our nation. Shameful that they still walk among us, with impunity, no less.

Drifting down and to the right of the map onto the Middle East for a moment, I present the clear case of several of its nations rent by daily internal strife, with such differences only to be bridged in the face of superior threats.

Take Israel, for example. It bears mentioning that some of the best things for the State of Israel's economy and society -- to use a blunt example -- came about following its victories in various regional conflicts with its Arab neighbours. Wartime successes bridged the umpteen divides perennially separating the Israeli collective: right versus left, religious versus secular, Arab versus Jew, city versus rural, etc. War -- according to several influential Israeli historians of time -- had been a creative-destructive force for the nation's people, a right boon.

Now, hold those koni (horses) there a moment, Cowboy! I'm hardly suggesting what the CR needs is (even more) war.

However, what I am indeed suggesting, and also what I indicated during a recent AST Thought of the Day, is that a Czech crisis would be just the thing to bolt us back together. A uniquely Czech crisis would put the kibosh -- at least for a decade -- on one of the most pernicious of our country's bugaboos, what former President Havel refers to as "our classic Czech egoism."

Therefore, I propose a GUI: our new Gross Unity Index.

Some think tank, some benevolent individual, or some specialist held in very high regard might wish to monitor the state of our Czech social cohesion. I mean, someone might actually want to quantify this GUI dynamic somehow. To supply a publicly-observable, concrete, and verifiable metric (subjective as it may be at its outset) that could tell a story to a 3rd-party about the state of unity in our Middle European nation.

As a student of history with a focus on post-war Czechoslovak history in particular (having done my Master's thesis on the 1967 Pilar Commission that looked into the regime crimes and show trials of the Czechoslovak 1950s), I can't help but observe how a national crisis -- achieving high levels of national unity -- followed by decades-long lulls -- achieving apathy, listlessness, and a sense of lugubrious helplessness -- has been nothing short of the Czech lands' destiny.

It's time to change this. Right now, in other words.

What precisely this crisis I refer to may materialize to be, or when it's exactly supposed to arrive, no one genuinely knows. Cesko seems totally immune to most of the global indicators, especially in the economic sphere, and most Praguers continue to live the (consumerist) Life of Riley. Worse is that a subset of Czech nouveaux-riche are only too pleased to pay exorbitant retail for certain luxury products, indicative of their newfound wealthy status.

In the meantime, I hold tightly onto the gunnels of my Canadian canoe, bracing for the storm yet to slam into us.

--ADM

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ps Prominent US-Czech neurologist Dr. Martin Jan Stransky -- scion of the founder of the Lidove noviny daily and publisher of sister publications Pritomnost and The New Presence -- will be seeking election to the Czech Senate during the next general election under the Veci vejrene banner. His official announcement will be made at the Narodni kavarna, Narodni 11, on 21.05.08 in Prague at 14h.