The following is a brief extract of a speech I gave this past evening at the 2009 New Year's Inaugural Address for the Czech Immigrants Party (CIP) held at the Movenpick Hotel in Prague.

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I say to you, good friends, that multiculturalism -- with its brutally battered reputation in lands further to the west -- will not take root through conventional means in the Czech lands.

A nationally-mandated policy must at some stage, I personally feel, be imposed upon the Czech nation for immigration to have any degree of success here. This would benefit the society by strengthening it in various ways that I've mentioned in so many other places before, yet which I can summarize as follows:

1) The Gene Pool: expect the Czech gene pool to undergo significant diversification and strengthening via the addition of new chromosomal bonds to the societal pool. This is a potentially incendiary statement in a region where blood feuds have played such a monumental and murderous role in the very recent past. But with the sheer rate of national seasonal illness, not to mention the incidence of various diseases endemic to the Czech gene pool, strains finding their origins from the outside might make the national pool more robust as a result. It has been demonstrated in other places. It can indeed work here.

2) Land of Several Languages: Czechs living beyond of their capital aren't well known for their linguistic prowess. While English may be widely spoken amongst scholastic circles, outside of Prague it's not as common a phenomenon and is a severe economic deficiency for this nation. Newcomers hailing from nations with globally-valuable languages -- namely, Chinese, Japanese, Arabic, English -- will enhance the market-value of this country and serve to promote it as a nation open for business. Its citizens will then be highly-sought after across the globe. Within two decades -- as has already been seen in this country over the short twenty years since the Velvet Revolution -- "Czech" will be synonymous with power, prestige, and savvy.

3) A Courageous Land of Competitive Battlers: Sadly, the reputation of Czechs across Europe (especially amongst our post-Communist former eastern "brothers") is viewed mostly as a clutch of whimps, also-rans, and bumbling Svejks. The Czech word most often used for this tawdry phenomenon is susenky, or cookies/soda crackers. In some circles, Czechs are even known as collaborators. The addition of a more randy assortment of new arrivals from more assertive/aggressive lands will go a long way to jacking up the power quotient in a nation chock-a-block with gentle beasts. It will give the nation the respect it ultimately deserves and which has been eluding us for nearly 20 years. It will grant us a healthy respect, not the sort of crooked respect Mr. Scrunchy Face (author's note: President Vaclav Klaus) seeks for us through his continued recalcitrance and defiance of Europe.

4) An Entrepreneurial Land: It's no secret, but if you drop a Mexican or a Guatemalan or a Nigerian anywhere on the globe, they'll rub two eurocents together to produce a small stash of green. It's something inherent to these peoples' genes; something they were born with -- very much like how Cubans can dance salsa or merengue, or cook a mean bowl of arroz y frijoles -- rice 'n beans -- without without much tutelage. Call it what you want, but it's squarely the sort of thing we need here in the Czech lands. We need to rid ourselves of the self-defeating habit of constantly asking "who's the boss?" We must begin telling people "I'm the boss, yes I am, and how can I help you?"

Young Czechs need to emerge from the protective four-year wombs of our state-funded institutions of higher learning and seek to make their bold mark on the planet, one which doesn't follow in lockstep with the staid patterns of the Czech yesteryear.

I'm talking about the staid "tell me what to do...please!" habits that cause young Czechs to look like the proverbial bunny in the spotlight when Westerners come here announcing: "you can do it, you really really can!"

Examining our political track record, we're still cursed with crony capitalism, the old boy networks, and buy-one-get-three-free business deals. These combined put a damper on our national striving for excellence, especially amongst our Generation "Cs." Not to be the Pied Piper on this one, Friends, but we could use a dose of Latin-fuelled, patent-leather shoe-d, wetback "watch this, mang!" inside our morning bowl of Czech bits.

5) A Politically-Active Land: Latinos and Africans, for example, know how to demonstrate! They don't fear public gatherings. They don't wait until the show's over to rumble. They don't raise cobblestones from the pavement and toss them from atop high buildings once the aggressors have already left the building. Moreover, they certainly know a thing or two about timing!

Politics, I believe, in the Czech Republic has likely been shafted for at least another 3 to 5 years because we must, first, wait until President Klaus divests himself of his benevolent dictatorship. Then, we must then hope and pray that Bobosikova (clowny name, by the way, if you ask me...I'd have had it officially changed at birth) doesn't get slotted into the presidency as a carpetbagging female token candidate. Then, we must sever all ties between the new president and the pre-existing political parties by formally selecting a head of state entirely disconnected from this group of machinating parliamentarians who spend our money into oblivion. The confidence young people once had in the Greens -- what with their revolutionary, fresh, and swashbuckling ways -- must be quickly restored.

I believe we'll be hard-pressed to do so with a purely Czech young stock. They're too jaded by the present band of mostly mountebanks in Parliament and too heavily negatively influenced by normalization-era parents, or cynical grandparents, to make much of a dent in the national political fabric.

In time, these Latinos and Africans will intermarry with the local population.

They'll interbreed and raise creamy tawny Czech tots -- speaking fluent cestina -- who will then be eligible for Czech higher office and it's these young new comers who shall reinvigorate an interest in Czech national politics amongst youth. They'll be at the vanguard of a watershed in new Czech politics, obliterating the painful memories of Benes, Gottwald, Zapotocky, Novotny, Svoboda, Hacha, and Elias forevermore.

These, my dear Friends, are just some of the benefits which can be achieved in a relatively short period of time through a policy of forced immigration in the Czech Republic.

Indeed, there are further extensive benefits the longer we pursue these very noble multicultural goals, which we have already seen in places like Canada, Australia, New Zealand, the UK, and most importantly, the United States. It is my hope we shall stridently pursue them.