While it's clear none of the following will be heeded by the Czech Powers That Be, it certainly does make for quite the instructive little exercise.

Allow me to list several very appropriate points why I think (His Excellency) Jan Svejnar would make for the obvious "people's choice" in February 8th's upcoming Mexican standoff:

1) Katherine Terrell Svejnar(ova) does not speak fluent Czech: while Madame Svejnarova has been parodied and lambasted in the Czech giggle-press for her poor grasp of the vernacular, this isn't necessarily a bad thing, folks. To be sure, this minor oversight will shortly be rectified with intensive lessons presently underway (and I have this on good information!). But this apparent inability of hers to fully comprehend the biting rumours and innuendo presently circulating in the blogosphere -- courtesy of legions of Czech journalistic hacks -- affords her a unique perspective the likes of which Livie Klausova could simply never have. In a manner of speaking, Madame Svejnarova might succeed in stepping back from particular contentious issues to supply His Excellency with alternative viewpoints which perhaps Mr. Svejnar might never arrive at himself, due to his complete understanding of the language and culture.

2) The Americans enjoy working with one of their own: Don't discount the fact, readers, that there are tremendous gains to be had from the United States being able to deal with one of their own kind. While Mr. Svejnar's eventual position should be largely ceremonial -- despite Mr. Klaus' desire to meld his Czech Presidency into a quasi-Ceasar -- Svejnar's fluency in the vernacular -- not to mention his understanding of the complex American mindset -- might permit his eventual presidential role to be a handy bridge between various contesting sides. Boiling points might thusly be entirely avoided.

3) Svejnar doesn't have Commie skeletons in his closet: Have you ever watched how evasive Klaus gets whenever some journalist (with cojones the size of Texas) queries him about his past activities during the People's Republic? His Picasso-esque ornate responses are the dancing equivalent to the cha-cha-cha. But no matter how thinly you slice it, baby, a duck, is a duck, is a duck. Svejnar hardly shares that past, and while he may have things of an entirely different nature to answer for during his days at Havel's hearth and knee -- His Excellency's would-be Presidency would be instrumental in forging a totally new chapter in the annals of the Czech Head of State. Neither fish (Havel = political prisoner par excellence) nor fowl (Klaus = a loyal operative in the State's key economic think tank), Svejnar would truly be -- in the immortal words of John Shaft ("Can you dig it?") -- "a brutha' from anutha' mutha'."

4) Newfound respect for the Czech state in all EU capitals: Agree with them or not, Klaus' controversial pronouncements often confound our various EU and UN interlocutors. It's no secret that Cesko's reputation has been taking a due hammering in the silent, smoke-filled rooms at various EU capitals since Klaus' volumnious statements have no place in his particular ceremonial role. So folks, I'm going to stress it again: the Czech Presidency is a "gimme" position! It's about fluff and pomp and fancy dinners. It's about expensive magnums of champagne and warm greetings between bilateral heads of state with promises to visit each other at their respective summer houses; it's not about getting our little statelet tarred and feathered behind the closed doors at global halls of meeting. Thinking about it from Klaus' perspective, I believe I understand why, in tarnation, he does this. It's because ten million souls have to stand their ground against the continuous Western onslaught. It's because 10 million souls in 2008 have to accept the yoke of our 400-year occupationist past; to hell what this garners us in the modern era! Klaus, apparently, has a direct phone hookup to our ancestors and -- doggone it -- he ain't gonna let it all go to hell in a handbasket. Not on his watch! But while Klaus has been off on his megalomaniacal "Davy Crockett at the Alamo" thing, standing in as the Czech version of William "Braveheart" Wallace, he's been making us look like blathering buffoons. Who's responsible for this? Our MPs? Our Senators? Us?

5) Ma, it's time for a change!: Klaus wants to remain in power because it grants him either of two upsides: (a) he gets to keep his fingers on the levers of power, affording him an opportunity to work his black magic as Grey Eminence behind the scenes, manipulating his governing ODS confreres via his favourite blunt instrument, the Everest-summiting pitbull, Pavel Bem, and (b), it keeps all those nasty secrets of our "Hammer & Sickle" past at bay, thereby deferring the long-overdue Czech requirement to duly apologize and fully compensate those families persecuted during the 1950s in show trials and various other Czechoslovak sham affairs. Electing Mr. Svejnar would finally demonstrate to the citizens of this fine nation that the winds of change indeed do blow strong in the Czech Republic. It would put demons to rest. It will invigorate our aimless youth, giving them a role model to (finally) shoot for -- someone whom they could emulate and whose backstory they could entirely respect.

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All in all, if it's a wise grandfatherly figure we're looking for, then why not Mr. Svejnar?!

The latter's bilingualism and his knowledge of the American cultural, academic, and political scenes would once-and-for-all demonstrate -- especially to young, impressionable Czechs in search of a Kennedy-like role model -- that, in the apt words of the amazing band Timbukthree -- "...the future's so bright, you gotta wear shades..."