Adam Daniel Mezei

31. 03.

Expat Value-Added Tax

Adam Daniel Mezei Přečteno 20320 krát

It used to be that expatriates had tremendous value in this town.

A value that was equated in terms of a "tax," of sorts, a kind of premium paid to them due to their presence in the Czech Republic that would justify compensating them a tad more on their paycheck, or a special toll they were somehow compelled to pay by unscrupulous waiters as they would leave restaurants or bars.

Phew...I'm happy to announce that the days of pulling prices at Prague's hospody and restaurants is now dead and gone. The last time a bar owner tried to tack on a few more crowns to my drinks tab happened so long ago, I can't remember it.

Following closely in its wake has been the reduction of "expat salaries." People from abroad just don't seem to earn like they used to, and perhaps rightfully so. Czechs don't need the "know-how" of some glorified imported bean counter. They're more than capable enough to do the job on their own. The lessons expatriates used to regularly impart, ideally, have been taken to well by Czechs.

But it did get me thinking, just what exactly is the expatriate's "value add" these days? Is there a role for people who aren't Czechs in this capital, other than perhaps remaining a curious sight to feast eyes on? How does this process work in 2008?

Personally, I'd just as soon prefer these so-called "refuse" expats cease making our city their personal city of refuge. With the appreciation of the crown vis-a-vis all major global currencies, this is thankfully no longer viable. Prague is no longer the "Paris" it used to be. Of course, while many artists still stream here to shake up their creative juices, the squatting phenomenon has gone out of style.

Here's a list of reasons why I think expatriates have become personae non grata in the Czech context:

1) Insane income opportunities are no longer to be had. The Czech Republic is no longer an emerging market, and this information has to be conveyed onward.

2) Czechs no longer need expatriates to get a taste of "outside," ever since they can grab it for themselves. A Czech passport gets you practically anywhere today.

3) English has become marginalized in the city. Czechs plainly aren't fascinated by the English language any longer, as other Europeans further to the east still seem to be.

4) EU membership has raised the Czech Republic to a level playing field in Europe. Being in Cesko is no longer as "cutting-edge" as it used to be, at least as far as expatriates are concerned.

5) Communist-era vestiges have been buried under by consumerist kitsch in the centre of Prague. Tourists still seeking that old-time feeling have to dig deeper, especially if they had their eyes closed on the drive in from Ruzyne.

~~~~

Since Prague society is mature, perhaps it's time to concentrate on a different sort of interaction with non-Czechs? Perhaps it's time to bring in more immigrants to this country...

And what do you think? Is there still a role for non-Czech visitors and expatriate employees in the city? Can they still make a contribution to the uplifting and growth of this society, or has their time come and gone, part of the Czech Republic's pre-Cambrian history?

Wishing you the very best of things,
Adam Daniel Mezei

27. 03.

Ashoka.org: Getting to Know Your Neighbours #2

Adam Daniel Mezei Přečteno 198991 krát

It's the moment you've all been waiting for...the second installment of "Getting to Know Your Neighbours."

So, I had a meeting last night with the charismatic and delectable Jennifer Fry of Prague's kick-ass NGO, Ashoka.org.

(By the way, Jen's mega-hot and very pleasant, so if you plan on having a meeting with her, don't eat your lunch beforehand. You're sure to get a case of the twitters).

In any event, I won't say much about her organization, other than to tell you Ashoka does a lot of really good things for a lot of really good people. Bone up on the material at their WWW for deeper insights into the finer workings of this particular non-profit, ya heard?

In any event, what we did get into last night was this: what's wrong with the Czech education system, and what the hell are Czech youngsters actually learning in school that seems to so poorly equip them for life in our Web 2.0 world?

We drafted a list of potential pinch points, what we described as negative characteristics which cause young Czechs to be so verklempt with angst when they graduate in beer-fuelled, condomless euphoria from high school (hopefully you're using birth control):

1) Village or small-town Czech graduates are often rebuked by their Communist-era teachers for making mistakes. Almost akin to getting a spank on the rump every time they commit errors in speech, grammar, or language, Czech youngsters are hardly encouraged to take initiative and aren't invited to serve up fresh ideas when speaking about particular issues, in civic society, business, or Czech affairs. Unlike other "pocket nations" of the world, whose students and citizens are world-beating entrepreneurial types (egs. New Zealanders, the Irish, the Scots, Slovenians, etc.), the negative reinforcement Czechs are subject to at school is staggering. Complexes abound, and it's no wonder why.

2) The wrong foreign languages are being taught in Czech schools. Rather than being encouraged to master the International Language of Business -- English -- in high school, the Czech education system -- at least in the regions -- is geared around placing strong emphasis on foreign languages that have no value in the modern Web 2.0 world. What we've recently heard in the news from The Fox (Ondrej Liska) at the Czech Education Ministry are just a handful of pithy proposals which will likely not be implemented during his tenure. Hard to believe, but Czechs are still being given the option to learn German or French in school, rather than English. Not disparaging these other two languages, but they are admittedly entirely useless in an international business context. All German, French, and even Russian businessmen speak English, so Czechs' inability to do so during business interactions with clients or interlocutors from across the globe is utterly inexcusable.

3) Entrepreneurship is looked upon as sinful or dirty, not as the world-altering or self-actualizing practice it has the potential to be. Jennifer agreed that our country produces too many brainiacs and technical types in schools, wholly bereft of the needed soft marketing and salesmanship skills our Interconnected (read: social networking) Global Economy requires. Don't believe me? Then just try talking about the practice entrepreneurship with young Czechs over coffee, beer, or wine sometime, and within minutes you'll hear a veritable laundry list of reasons why not to engage in a particular business idea, as opposed to why to get stuck into it. Just what kind of youth are we producing here?! What is happening is a mind crime of the highest order. Teachers should be publically flogged. MPs need to be given a dressing down, shouted at, and possibly have a few pies tossed their way. And we need fresh blood in Czech Parliament.

4) The wrong social media tools are being promoted in the Czech market. Yeah, sure, Czech blogs are cool (especially this one) and so are chat apps like ICQ (Israeli-created), Skype (Estonian), and YM. But what I desperately want to know is why no one's talking about things like Seesmic.com, Spokeo.com, Naymz.com, Diigo.com, and the like? Is it because they're in English that young Czechs aren't tapping into them? (See Point #2 above! -- which is completely inexusable, considering Seesmic's CEO is none other than affable Frenchman Loic LeMeur, who is constantly struggling to improve his spoken English, and doing marvellously at it).

5) The wrong pinnacles of professional achievement are being lauded in our society. "Get a job!" "Make a steady income, and shut your dumplings-hole!" "You think you can be a boss?" "You're going to lose your pants!" "You, dear woman, want to run your own company?! Be careful...you're going to find some guy and he's going to knock you up with a child during a drunken business meeting, and then where are you going to be? [I kid you not -- this is what one of my female colleagues tells me her dad tells her every time she goes back to Jihlava/Iglau]" Why is the aspiration in Prague and Brno society, for example, merely to have a straight-line job? Why is comfort the most sought after aspiration for young unmarried, childless Czech young people? Why are we so goddamn lazy about the right things (eg. creating our own opportunities, being masters of our own domain, innovation, becoming a 10 million-strong centre of excellence for technology -- not just the boring kind), and so pathetically industrious about the totally wrong things (eg. being "responsible" at work, and "doing the job well, because I'm responsible," [Hanka, that one's for you, tough guy], or to impress the misogynist boss)? Who in tarnation planted these poisonous seeds into the fresh minds of our youth? Why aren't more women, incidentally, running companies in the Czech Republic?

~~~~

Jen and I laid out some more ideas, but I'll let her take it away in the comments section.

By the way, VOTE CZECH IMMIGRANTS!

I love you,
You rock,
Kick moose testicles, always,
ADM

24. 03.

The '90s, baby, the '90s...

Adam Daniel Mezei Přečteno 3848 krát

You feelin' me? It's here and I like it... I don't know why, but this track is so diggable, issued courtesy of one of the best entertainers living in one of the best nations on the planet, the US of A. Will Smith is heavenly, amen, amen.

Moving right along...

It's nice to be back, kids, and even nicer to have received all those yummy wellwishings on my previous post. I just loved all your comments, player haters and ADM-lovers alike. Keep 'em coming. Miluju Vam.

Just to reassure all and sundry, I am indeed alive and well. Just been visiting with our neighbours to the east and south, and it took me about a week to make the whole swing through. Sometimes even amazing I need a break. Besides, I had some catchup to do with some old buddies from back in the day, and I didn't really have time to blog away, much to my chagrin. I know you've been missing the goodness. But your vitamin dose is back. The poor substitutes can be dispensed with, posthaste.

Something which occurred to me while in the "emerging" part of Europe, though, was the prevalence of blogging over there. How blogs were one of the primary means of communication for young 18-34s who don't buy into the staid messages of their elders and politicians.

Gobsmack yourself, but politicians in Eastern Europe are decidedly not addressing the needs of their young constituents via this easy-as-pie channel, and are losing out bigtime.

This brings up two interesting points.

One is that millions of young Eastern Europeans aren't being "spoken to" in the language they keenly understand.

Two, is that those who indeed are blogging are capturing an interesting part of their development which we here in the Czech Republic didn't have a chance to properly chronicle.

I'm talking about those '90s, baby, the '90s, sure enough...

Many people disparage the brilliant gleanings of the various bloggers at this site. Tisk, tisk. Of course, this brilliance pertains only to Yours Truly and the various non-partisan bloggers without a political affiliation or those having received the honour of posting here due to the nefarious dealings they conduct over shots of whiskey and "Czech" beer at Prague's famous titty bars with the management of this news server (yes, we're democratic here...no fear of gag orders).

Imagine if we had blogs in Cesko during the privatization years? Imagine if the errors committed during those wild days could be recalled at the touch of a button, for all to read about, in the English language? Such that a student of Central European history doing his Ph.D studies on, say, the backroom '90s dealings of the shower-averse Prime Minister Santa Klaus could access the on-the-spot reflections of Czech journalistic pundits at the time, all at the touch of a button?

It's those same '90s I was reminded of during my swing through "Emerging" Europe. Those lucky Balkan bastards, they don't even realize how amazing they've got it -- the technology they can now marshal at their disposal to archives the inexcusable crimes of the era -- and how they can make the omissions of their elected leaders manifest to their citizenry, to the rest of the European Continent, to the world at large, but don't. Excuses are instead the order of the day.

But why chronicle the '90s in Cesko and that neighbouring country of ours with Fascist aspirations, aka Slovakia?

It's because the '90s in our country were a time of g.od-awful upheaval, flatulence, body odour, poor consumer choice, dial-up internet, and the era of the steep learning curve. They were rife with lessons learned on the part of both XX and XY chromosomal types.

For instance, Czech and even Slovak girls (yes, can you believe it, even Slovaks!) learned how to finally wax their legs and upper lip hair follicles. They learned how it was completely normal to get that downstairs coniferous forest cleaned up into a delicious little landing strip for my F-15 flesh dagger (not my MiG, tovarish!), thereby making themselves more appealing to the opposite gender; especially those of us hailing from outside the Holy Czech lands.

Then there were the, um...men.

It finally dawned upon the Czech male race that with the commodification of the FMCG sector (Fast Moving Consumer Goods) that deodourants and antiperspirants were of lower cost, higher quality, freely available, and would actually net you more horizontal lambada action, thereby making everyone worlds more relaxed.

It would loosen up that lingering post-Communist fear and would It would get those Bohemians smiling more and oodles more creative, you see?

And something even more valuable: it would loosen the vice-like grips around those moveable daggers of theirs in their tight fists, the same ones they threatened to do themselves in with at a moment's notice, so hateful were they of life, so existential they once were, so uncertain about the technicolour future their leaders were fobbing off on them on silver platters.

Believe it or not, but Czech men -- the breadwinners -- once thought they'd never rise to the 40 CZK to the dollar rates their American interlopers were spending like water in the capital. Ne, mily pane, proste ne.

I kind of wish blogs were around in those days.

I'd spend my nights reading about the exploits of that decadent ten year stretch. I'd get carpal tunnel clicking through the Flickr photos or Web 2.0 sites of the social networkers of the era. I'd become a '90s expert, not content to merely become the Most Famous Prague Expat of the 21st-century -- and that's no idle claim, my sweet kiddies.

Have you got any sites you can pass me onto, detailing the exploits of the era?

By the way, they cannot be sites in the Czechoslovak Ethnic Language. Rather, they must be in one of the reputable tongues of the United Nations; preferably in the British Colonial Language or the Gallic Colonial Language (aka "French"), so that I can pass it off to my friends on the other side of the Pond.

As always,
I wish you the very best of things,
I love you,
Your Amazing ADM

17. 03.

The Czech Immigrants Party

Adam Daniel Mezei Přečteno 4410 krát

Since 2004, immigrants and asylum-seeking refugees have been playing an increasingly significant role in Czech social affairs.

While I don't count myself among them -- bureaucratically-speaking, as I don't share their daily woes, being a European national -- I am nevertheless kindred spirits with them from the perspective of sharing a background of being a "strange person in a strange land." It is for this reason that I have decided to humbly accept the post of leader of the Czech Immigrants Party.

It was a hard-fought decision on my part.

Yet following a weekend of intense negotiations huddled around a smoke- and Becherovka-filled round table nestled somewhere in a cramped apartment in what shall remain an undisclosed location (for now) in Dejvicka, my colleagues -- noble citizens of Iraq, the Central African Republic, Nigeria, Cameroon, Cote d'Ivoire, China, Afghanistan, Vietnam, Taiwan, the United States, Canada, Australia, and New Zealand -- voted unanimously to nominate for me for leadership of the party.

This week, we plan to drop the writ and file papers for representation in the next election, likely to take place somewhere between the next several months and the commencement of 2009.

By week's end, we will be receiving official notice that our application has been accepted, with authorization to come within the next two months which legally entitles us to vie for representation in the Czech House of Parliament. Finally, the hopes and dreams of a generation of young immigrants to the Czech lands, those of us who have been pitifully neglected by the indifference of our host society, discriminated against at work, and looked upon disparagingly by the most mono-ethnic population of the Czech capital city, will be fulfilled.

We bandied about the possibility of naming ourselves the "Prague Immigrants Party." Since most of us live in the capital -- where the opportunities lie and where the lot of us earn our daily bread -- we felt that "Prague" was more representative of what we collectively stood for.

But at the 11th-hour nixed the idea.

"Czech" was more in line with our future goals and aspirations.

Eventually, we will be residing not only in your capital, but across the length and breadth of your former kingdom.

You will soon find us in your subordinate cities of Brno, Ostrava, and Plzen. And, G.od willing, and with the benevolent assistance of our government, native Czechs will soon find us in their smaller regional towns and hamlets as well. Places where the Czech authority will be compelled to establish "make-work" programmes for the thousands of newcomers, like us, whom she will be forced to adopt as part of her EU refugee and asylum claimant obligations. (You didn't think joining the EU was going to be a free ride, did you?)

You will hear us speaking our various ethnic tongues on your streets.

We will be wearing our traditional clothes in your stores.

And we will -- moreover -- look completely different from you, sound different from you, and behave in a manner which is not what you are accustomed to. We will get in your face in your shops and in the streets, and will make you accept our dark-haired, dark-skinned, deep-voiced, accent-inflected, bearded, mustachioed existence.

We will be joining your mainstream, my dear Cesi.

WHY WE ARE ESTABLISHING THE CZECH IMMIGRANTS PARTY?

WHEREAS, our reasons for doing are multifacted:

** The Czech Republic is an overly mono-ethnic jurisdiction: While there are some European politicians clamouring for the swift establishment of "Fortress Europe," the die has been cast and the tide can no longer be reversed. Dear fellow Czech citizens, your days of dominating the Bohemian and Moravian gene pool are over. We are here to stay, and we're not leaving anytime soon. It is time to shake things up.

** Nationally harmful character traits residing within Czech DNA: Reprehensible, counter-European behavioural traits must be completely weaned out of the "Czech" gene pool through successive waves of a new, "foreign" chromosomal element into the Czech bloodstream. Over the course of not more than two generations, it is our aim to expunge the cowardly, craven streak from the Czech national character. We wish to return to a rightful measure of Czech pride, one that supersedes hockey, the biathalon, fornicating porn stars, and beer (and we mean this in the utmost of seriousness).

** Immigrants will add colour and vibrancy to the Czech population: Anywhere in the "old" EU-15 where immigrants have left their indelible footprint, transformational energy has ensued. Newcomers to the Czech lands will bring their customs, their globalized outlook, their optimism, and their entrepreneurial spirit to a country living in an untenable economic bubble. When the guano hits the fan in this country, millions of Czech citizens will be devasted by the damage their feeble approach to industriousness has wreaked during these years.

** Czech politics is dominated by a cabal of card-carrying KSC (Czechoslovak Communist Party) types who don't have our nation's best interests at heart: Time and again, it has been proven in nations across Europe and around the world that newcomers are thankful for the opportunities they have been granted to live, work, and thrive in their host countries. They are grateful immigrants, net positive contributors to their host society and become masters of the nation's language, customs, and traditions. Our aim is to win 5 seats (of 200) during the next Czech national election, and to increase this number by 3 seats with each subsequent election.

** The Czech Republic must urgently rebrand itself: Native Czechs are known across the world for entirely the wrong reasons. They are known as a Middle European mass of "laughing imbeciles," (not my expression, this is the prevailing European opinion) best suited to accept orders from so-called more "enlightened" bosses from the West. We drink beer, we stuff our faces with all manner of starchy food, and we have random sexual encounters out of wedlock and against our various martial partners without adequate contraception. We are an overly laid-back people, aspiring to little more than to be left to our devices over weekends, twiddling with our dinky toys and electronic devices at the weekend house -- or chata -- toying with our fantastic plastic machines, rather than attending to the genuine realities which loom large above us. Immigrants will correct this. We shall bring back a measure of Czech respect. We shall bring our industriousness. We shall add our colour. And we will show you a different way to live. The proper way.

~~~~

For these reasons and more, the time has come for us to take the Czech political scene by storm. And take it, we will!

Watch this space for our URL, contact addresses, and for the list of candidates we shall be presenting to contest the upcoming electoral tipoff.

To all immigrants to Cesko who are reading this post -- please cast your ballot for the Czech Immigrants Party, the only party in the corrupt Czech political establishment who can protect your interests, represent you fairly, and whose reason for being is with your continued improvement in mind.

VOTE CZECH IMMIGRANTS!

15. 03.

Guest blogger: Ariel Green at the Castle Protest

Adam Daniel Mezei Přečteno 3636 krát

UPDATE: PHOTOS INCLUDED!

~~~~

My name is Ariel A. Green.

Born in San Francisco, California and raised north of the gate, I have been living between Prague and the U.S. for nearly 11 years, now. I love my county.. both of them.. Though my heart will always be split down the middle between Czech and N.California, in 'O3, I got tired of the commute and settled here in Prague, for good. Life in California was a dream between mountains, amazing city, wine country, Pacific Ocean and connection to community. However, Czech and I have agreed to an exchange. We each have something to offer one another and so we have the agreement to continue our relationship with open minds and a willingness to learn and teach one another, until further notice.

***

Today, a spontaneous moment occurred, as I was on my way home. I was stopped by a young man trying to find Hradcanske Namesti. Behind him a lovely smiling couple with signs and pictures on sticks saying, "tady, radar neni bude". I asked, in Czech, if they were going to a protest and they excitedly confirmed, "yes, yes, yes!!!".

I popped home and got rid of my gear in exchange for my camera and headed over to the start line of the protest march over by the castle. Surely they'd be heading down and over to the American Embassy via the tourist route. Protests are always at 3, so I knew the drill. Upon arriving, I was impressed. A much bigger turn out than the one at the American Ambassador's residence, the last time Bush was in town. Signs, Italian peace flags, anti-radar flags and other created bits and large paper mache politicians bounced up and down (Bush, Sasha, Vlasta, and there were two others, perhaps including Klaus) throughout the line of hundreds of people making there way up the street.. Whistles and chants in Czech and occasionally English went on and on and on. I hadn't heard this much noise from Czechs, at a public event, in all my life! It was a wonderful sight.

Slowly, we moved across the square and around the corner toward Malostranski Namesti. Through the first corridor two opportunists made their hit. One thief grabbed a camera and was being beaten 2 meters from me, yet eventually got away. Then, 2 meters ahead someone dropped a water bomb on the crowd, (My guess is bored teenagers rather than anti-anti-radar statement, however you be the judge.)

The energy was amazing and the crowd diverse. Well dressed elders with canes and protest signs screamed and smiled as they walked. Dread-locked collage students in rainbow colors held one side of the giant anti-radar banner, while on the other side, high heeled fashion princesses held the other. I loved the varied colors of people and types all joining in. This was the moment when all that mattered was the cause, the passion to keep our country safe and American radar-base free. The smell of belief, hope, strength and will was in the air. Confused tourists were along the perimeter wondering what was more confusing, the Christmas market behind St. Nick's covered in snow, or the flag waving Czechs and foreigners walking by screaming and smiling.

Upon reaching the American Embassy there were barricades around the entrance and numerous police all geared up. No one would be getting very close to this door. As we approached, I heard two large bomb sounds and the smell of fireworks.. It was ahead of me, once again, and all I hoped was that no one was hurt, as I wondered who had thrown them this time.

In truth, I am sure there was no one there, at the Embassy. And, were they there, they certainly wouldn't have responded to the calls, regardless of the masses outside. What would they have said? "Hey, don't you want to be a target in exchange for minor changes to your visa rules and numerous other empty promises we might make?" Not likely. There is no arguing with the current administration. Too much money and power involved.

I am not a terribly political person. I am only ashamed of the negligence when it comes to the care of people in general, around the world. And, this radar business, is shameful. I love my country, but am , in general, having to cast my eyes downward at the mention of many of its actions. I hope one day, soon, that may change. For now, I will bare witness to the freedom of speech, right to gather and speaking of minds and feel the spirit of the fight within the Czechs.

There is more to Czechs than meets the eye. There is strength in this passion bubbling out, here and now. Don't believe what you hear about Czechs having no courage. What I saw, today, was a wonderfully spirited crowd of Czechs and other residents screaming for what is right..and perhaps one day.., someone will actually listen.

Until then, let the echo of the people continue to be heard through the streets of Malostrana and beyond, evoking action, more passion and motivation to fight for what is right for this small country who has a strong voice and a right for peace within its own borders.

near Prague Castle at the start

near Prague Castle at the start

political figures

peace and U.S.flag with swastika

6046

U.S. Embassy

12. 03.

Czech foreigners...who needs 'em?

Adam Daniel Mezei Přečteno 4178 krát

Czechs, friends, countrymen!

~~~~

UPDATE#1: And cizaci!

UPDATE#2: The title of this post should have read, now in retrospect as: "FOREIGNERS TO CESKO -- WHO NEEDS 'EM?" I now realize how much confusion this apparently caused to my fans, who thought I was maligning Czechs. Heaven forfend! Apologies for the gaffe. Won't happen again. Scout's honour...sure enough!

~~~~

It's time we took a good look in the mirror and assessed our present skills and abilities.

Back where I grew up -- North of the 45th Parallel -- most 18 year olds, when they hit that lofty plateau, did some serious soul-searching. By that stage, they usually had their first reality check, their first possible brush with mortality abusing alcohol, drugs, or other illicit substances, or even their first love interest (if not partaken of earlier).

They likely found themselves in their final years of secondary school, just prior to entering the hallowed halls of higher education, an institution where they'd likely forget all the lessons they'd honed down in provincial Jihlava/Iglau.

Being 18 is also a time for gift-giving and kudos-granting.

Parents generally lavish their eighteen year-old progeny with gifts aplenty, commending them for reaching this milestone, Indeed it is a once-in-a-lifetime plateau.

Here in Cesko, we're also sort of teenage-like. For all intents and purposes, we're just the same sort of 18 year old, and it explains why we no longer need the assistance of outside help.

So today, here are my Top 5 Reasons why we no longer require the skills and services of expatriates and outsiders in our country, why they'd do better to just stay home:

1) The Skills You Once Taught Us We Already Know For Ourselves: Once upon a time, people arrived from outside our borders to show us things we didn't yet know how to do -- or at least do well. With their double-edged phalanxes of resources and know-how, Europeans from the more affluent West in combination with America landed on our shores, instructing us in the finer ways of being and behaving. Like the diligent students we are, we took in their lessons well. But the tables have since turned -- we've now mastered those skills and we no longer need their inputs. When sitting across the table from you now, we'll do so as equals, not awestruck dolts.

2) Our Passport Now Takes Us Anywhere: Thanks to the backdoor quid pro quo machinations of Deputy PM Vondra and the others in the ODS cabal, with the assorted backroom dealmaking, Czechs have now reached the rarefied air of a near-total US visa waiver. Not to mention 6 months in Canada -- visa-free (provided the Candians don't slap that visa back onto us for exceeding the quotas they supplied us last year). Note to Czech hotties: this means anytime you've got that inner urge to shake your moneymaker down on Miami's South Beach, trying your hand at becoming an international superstar fashionista of your own making, you've now got the opportunity. For Czech businessmen this too has its advantages. Now the innovative US market is yours for the accessing. (Poor Slovaks, eh? They don't have nearly the same deal. I bet our little cousins are eating their hearts out for initiating the Divorce).

3) The English language Has Become Marginalized In Prague: Speaking English is not such a big deal for prazane anymore. Most Praguers speak it phenomenally well -- if not passably -- and are on the 'net reading the same web pages as you and I. They have access to the same newspapers that you do, the same books, and they can travel anywhere on the planet to speak English whenever and wherever they darn well please. It still amazes me that word hasn't filtered out to the inbound masses that we're not the dumb "Easterners" or "peutes" (as the French call us) we may have once been.

4) Our Currency -- the koruna -- Is Completely Tradeable and Mighty: To all you curious foreigners abroad planning to swing into our city to have yourselves a beer-fuelled ball at our expense, here's the newsflash: you been paying attention to the financial markets of late? We're not 40 crowns to the dollar, 60 crowns to the sterling anymore! Our products and services now have high value, and what we produce doesn't come cheaply, kids. So buyer beware. We're not Europe's stepchildren.

5) Your Money Is Better Invested Out East: Our government has prepared for the very worst, and taken the steps to ensure our economy doesn't become overly reliant upon the auto industry or similar heavy manufacturing activities that could hamper our economy needlessly. It's no secret these sectors will eventually find their way East. So to all you Taiwanese businessmen, Americans, Brits, and Japanese -- kindly take your millions and inject them into Ukraine's economy, or head on down to Bulgaria and let them roll out the red carpet for you at Sofia Airport. Our financial markets are strong and healthy, thank goodness, and our metrics remain promising. From 2008's standpoint and beyond, the optics are gorgeous.

~~~~

The "urine of history" -- that same pee which formerly rained down on us for over 40 years -- has now completely dried.

Foreigners -- be they businessmen or visitors -- continue to be welcome in the Czech lands. And they shall remain so.

But we don't need you anymore. Not as much as we used to, at least. For all of the above reasons, and more...

Have a nice day,
ADM

10. 03.

Choking on the English language in Prague

Adam Daniel Mezei Přečteno 11173 krát

UPDATE: I'd include the incomparable Erik Best's FLEET SHEET and FLEET SHEET FINAL WORD in my "approved" group. How many former Americans living in Prague do you know can speak Czech fluently, and are regularly invited onto Czech Television to opine on the current state of political affairs?! Kindly read on for more information.

Nazdar! Hope your weekend at the chalupa picking 'shrooms was restful, folks.

Mine was. Well, that is, other than for a small blip on my "cool runnins" radar...

It happened when I felt like taking a desk chair to one of the flat screens at my local cafe warren, a place where I've been compiling the next Great "American" Novel. Yes, that same one visitors to our Austrian-constructed Golden Village have been attempting to write from the "Paris of the Bloc" since the early '90s. The feat has yet to be accomplished.

Anyways, sitting there attempting to silently scribble as I was, the Sunday morning phenomenon of the Czech talking head rudely appeared. You know what I'm talking about -- those politicos trying to outdo one another with their media-spun justifications for why we should be going it alone on missile defence -- with Uncle Sam's due guidance, of course -- even if the Poles sober up from their vodka stupor and kibosh their end of the deal by not hosting the missile part of it.

*** Needless to say, I didn't take said chair to the TV. But I left and didn't leave a gratuity this time. Serves them right for ruining my morning! (Jasne, I'm learning when to be passive-aggressive in this town as well...why mess with Bohemian success?) ***

Besides, why the hell do I want to be hearing about this on a Sunday? Who gives?

Are you trying to tell me we're *not* going to be hosting a radar base in this country because a gaggle of former Reds sporting Armani suits and silk ties make strident appeals to Czech patriotism, with copious references to our sovereignty and splendid isolation?

For realz, kids, for realz...

Alright...English language in Prague. The point of today's glorious post, all hail, all hail...

Summary: too many sources for English news in this country, not enough English-language news consumers, the quality is lousy, get rid of some of them. Full stop.

I'm naming names in my post today, so the following is a list of the winners and the losers. And like most things that happen in Prague, when I deign to make predictions, things usually end up happening that way:

Publications which should stay (bonus: and my reasons why):

** Aktulane.cz's CzechNews. And not just because it's the site I blog for...but compare CzechNews' English language translation quality next time you read CTK, folks, and that pretty much sums it up. The money men back in New York seem to think so, too, evidenced by Centrum's recent acquisition of Atlas, so...

** Prague Daily Monitor. I've mentioned this in about a dozen other places on this blog, but my reasons are simple: PDM is well-researched, cogently written, and 99.9% reliable. Every day, all day, all the time. Zero excuses.

** Radio Prague's English language department. One of the few English language sources in this country which hires right, has the right inside contacts, and delivers the goods without fail. They just signed up The New Presence's former Editor-In-Chief, Dominik Jun. And if that's not saying it all, grab yourself a read of Dom's past work at TNP, and you'll instantly know what I'm on about.

** Czech Business Weekly. While the people pulling the levers of editorial power on Prague 1's Provaznicka street are basically a bunch of charlatans (don't take my word for it, just speak to the legions of former freelancers given the long hard shaft by CBW's Accounting Department), they do, on the other hand, issue great weekly news product. Stories have bite, translations (except for CBW's "Expert File" dispatches, which are dense and clunky) are sharp, and the publication's reporters are capable beyond compare.

Now for those which definitely need to be pushed over the edge, into oblivion:

** The Prague Post. Churchill's reference to the former Ottoman Empire aptly applies -- "the soft underbelly of Europe..." Like most Prague expats, we're wondering when this non-factor will morph into a simple bimonthly magazine from its present broadsheet incarnation. Nobody reads it anymore, no one buys it anymore, and it's a privately-held concern -- which basically means they can publish absolutely everything unfit to print. With a silently-uttered moniker amongst expat circles like the "Prague Pest," need I say more?

** any Prague-based English-language social networking or expatriate site which has as its primary aim the violent takedown of Expats.cz. Not mentioning any names, of course, but would you kindly find another sandbox to play in? You're not going to beat the big man, so why don't you give up already? The man's 10x smarter than you, any day of the week.

** Prague Leaders. This is an utterly atrocious glossy, and I haven't the foggiest why anyone subscribes to it. PL is a ripe, ready example of precisely what occurs when there's too much money in the kitty and not enough watts in the intellect department. Time for you to say namaste.

~~~~

Sure, competition's healthy. In a normal setting, indeed it is.

But Prague's hardly "normal." Normal in the sense that Czechs speak and read English phenomenally well, have access to all manner of competing www's on the 'net, and don't need to read about what's going on in their capital and country from some second-rate English-language publications.

So what the above "approved" publications need to do is churn out increasing quality dividends.

As for the rest of you shlubs? Bow out...and quickly. There's been a shakeout, and you've lost the contest.

Your days of choking us are officially over.

06. 03.

The Czech Talent Paradox

Adam Daniel Mezei Přečteno 2918 krát

A perverse and often baffling state of affairs exists in our Holy Capital: our most talented souls are rarely the same ones collecting the booty.

People, blessed with skills and experience, aren't clocking as many ducats as those assorted knuckleheads and goons who while away their time, sleeping, over on the Lesser Side -- and on our tax dime, no less! (Not mentioning any names, of course, but the Austrian Count is definitely on my faeces-list now that he's been forced to eat humble pie over a certain former mayor from Vsetin).

Because we Czechs are a concrete people -- admiring examples, shunning visionary ideal-seeking behaviour, and not thinking too far into the future -- I'll tell you what I'm talking about:

Translators and interpreters.

So let me tell you about a friend I have in town...

Yes, samozrejme, she's female, and yes, she's gorgeous. (Who else does "the ADM" hang around?!)

The gal speaks three languages (count em!), drinks like a sailor, is a diligent grandchild, dresses like a fox, and smells positively sensational. In short, she's a man's wet dream.

What sets her apart from the other XX chromosomal walking Nivea billboards in our Holy Capital is that she isn't only someone I play "house" with and probe with my doctor's tools, she's also got talent up the wazoo.

She's smarter than most people I know. Smarter than a lot of the bosses I've had in this city, that is, before I become independently wealthy (and considering the number of advanced degrees they have, that's saying heaps).

Following a recent shower and rub down session, this girl hands me a copy of eminent Polish agit-prop man's, Adam Michnik's, 1990's tome about his involvements with Solidarnosc. I'm talking about a thick 400pp bad boy -- a heavy momma, in other words -- so I drag it all the way home and tuck into it that very same night.

I'm proud to announce -- it has been one of the more delicious books I've read this oh-eight. My blood rushes to my nethers just thinking about it and who gave it to me, truth be told.

You do, of course, realize that all this comes from a girl who would look sumptuous wrapped in a newspaper?

But the point was that this same girl -- let's refer to her by the shaft-softening moniker of Grezelda -- simply cannot earn a living doing what she was made to do -- which is simultaneously translate.

I've often asked her why.

So on the last occasion we got together, Grezelda wips out a cocktail napkin and jots down her Top Three Reasons:

1) she's unwilling to kowtow to the fat slobs' lascivious demands during professional mixers and networking events -- places where people in her profession normally head to make contacts and secure jobs.

According to G, she's unwilling to engage in bottom pinching, won't do the "dirty looks" innuendo thing across the gilded room, won't bat her eyelids at bearded old men, and will absolutely never engage in sexual favours (the fact that most of these politicos are married is hardly an impediment, for them).

2) she's unwilling to "prove herself" -- for free -- during various EU confabs going on around Prague, which her would-be employers have often asked her to as a way to break into the business.

Grezelda tells me how she basically puts her bosses to the test: when they start asking her whether she can translate from English to Czech and back again, she basically begins simultaneously translating on the spot! I nearly tossed my cookies laughing.

3) she's unwilling to go to a translating academy in order to obtain her so-called "qualifications" for her profession.

I won't reveal the some of the names of the people she's worked for -- as that would be totally unethical of me, and I'm not a Czechoslovak politician -- though when I heard her short list, I was gobsmacked her superiors would have the brass testicles to ask her to go back to schule.

I mean, what better proof that she can get the job done than by calling around to check references?

Were her potential employers just being petty? Were they trying to beat her down to size because she wouldn't do the horizontal lambada with them? Were they just posturing for nothing? Go figure...

~~~~

This, friends and lovers, is the Czech Talent Paradox.

Like an old Slovak saying my grandmother used to tell me:

"Teeth exposed? Hands up!"

Stuffing my face with her tasty brynzove halusky, I never understood exactly what she meant by it until my conversation with Grezelda.

When the [Czech] smile comes, the [Czech] slap across the face is sure to follow.

Figures it would take a Slovak to come up with something so brilliant. And not just any Slovak, mind you, but "the ADM's" granny...

As always,
I wish for you the very best of things,
Podepsan,
The Astonishing,
ADM

03. 03.

The Power of Intuitive Decision-Making

Adam Daniel Mezei Přečteno 3035 krát

"Mighty" Mitchell Young -- Dean of University of Northern Virginia in Prague -- is hands-down one of my best friends in La Ville D'Or.

We been secretly engaging in a spirited book exchange over these past few months -- me handing him a title I've recently ploughed through, he, one of his -- and I'm spilling the beans for you today.

That's right, folks -- I'm not going to hide it anymore: me and Mitch are, um...idea-lovers.

The latest little treasure I've gotten my meathooks on, courtesy of Mighty Mitch, is Gary Klein's THE POWER OF INTUITION: How to Use Your Gut Feelings to Make Better Decisions At Work.

I'm just getting into the first 100 or so pages, but already I can tell it's precisely the kind of book I'll be recommending to my staff and several other younger Czechs I meet during my social networking forays and trips abroad where Czech people congregate in large numbers like migratory birds.

From what I can gather, the fundamentals of Klein's work are like so:

** charts, tables, flowcharts, Excel spreadsheets, and other more reductive decision-making techniques-- while handy -- are no by no means a substitute for "gut feel." They supplement, not replace.
** intuitive -- or "gut" -- decision-making ability isn't a bunch of hooeyed mumbo-jumbo that depends exclusively upon feelgood, the occult, G.od, or new-age spiritual rubbish that has zero foundation in hardcore numbers. It's as real as that plate of dumplings and svickova in front of you, Honza.
** intuitive decision-making can (and should) be taught at home, in school, and in the workplace. Like any other teachable skill, one can train themselves to be more "feeling" decision-makers.

Klein's book even lays out a selection of handy exercises which will force managers, in addition to their direct reports, to analyze the fundamentals of their decision-making processes. It will force them to think about ways in which their jobs can be broken down into manageable tasks removed from cold analytical decision-making, and teach them how to make split-second decisions from factors more internal.

You know, all of this is rather key for the Czech new corporate set.

I don't know if you find similarly, friends, but far too often decisions in the Czech marketplace are dependent upon reams of data. Like the ever-present scowl on these same Prague streets, Czech middle management often takes a dispassionate view towards decision-making, by falling back solely upon charts, tables, and bean-counting in order to justify a given decision.

All this dovetails with something I find myself doing of late with my staff: I do plenty of one-on-ones.

To all you managers out there (and those of you with the chutzpah to call yourselves our "elected leaders"), I find there's no better substitute for driving to the soul of what makes my people tick than by asking them about what interests them.

I'm curious how their days are going, whether I'm paying them enough, or whether they're satisfied with the projects they're engaged in for my company.

Generally, their responses are laden with the sort of pithy asskissing they think I want to hear.

And it's hardly their fault: this is a central tenet of their bargain-basement business school educations they received; trained, as they've been, to tow a specific line. Like trained attack dogs at that kennel I recently visited near Beroun, Czech "up and comers" are often harshly rebuked for thinking innovatively. Like those dogs, if they dare to get out of line they're promptly "whacked" back into position. Do it often enough, and the dogs will learn how it's not correct for them to think independently, as they cower away to lick their wounds.

Like I tell my clients, I don't care what you think -- you're not going to surmount millennia of biology. Treat your employees as human beings, not golems. Don't do so at your peril.

So how do we fix this? (Since I'm from Canada, I don't like to aimlessly complain (like sport), unlike my Czech opposite numbers).

The main cancer, in my estimation, is that books -- such as Klein's -- aren't translated into the Czechoslovak Ethnic Language and, therefore, proponents, like the former, of intuitive decision making aren't successful in reaching a wider constituency.

Those with their fat, greasy hands on the levers of power in this so-called republic, the former nomenklatura and other assorted bootlickers promoted to positions of privilege during the Former Regime, have been too heavily dependent on charts, graphs, and computerized subroutines to actually give intuitive decision-making a fair shot.

Young Czechs are hardly going to learn how to think in this manner from these deflowered (and still secret) members of the Red Brigades and other May Day "winners."

The present solution is for staid tertiary institutions like Prague's VSE to have 99.9% Western oversight until further notice. This, until we see more of a sympathetic, XX chromosomal (aka "female"), emotional decision-making style employed at wholly Czech firms.

While we're at it, I'd like to see less of the hard-drinking, adulterating, excuse-seeking set running the educational show, I'd like to have fewer women running to fetch me coffee and biscuits when I show up to interview subjects for my podcast show, and less of that false fawning "pan/i reditel/ka" bullshit that passes for corporate discipline at the purely Czech firms I visit (read: not companies like Vodafone, CR, which are complete novelties).

Books like Klein's should be brought into the Czech mainstream, translated into the Czechoslovak Ethnic Language, and made more accessible to the sundry rural and other provincial ethnic Bohemians, Moravians, Silesians, Czech-Poles, Czech-Slovaks, and Roma who come to Prague like kids at "Christmas morning" to attend the boxy schools with names like "Vysoka Skola Ekonomicka."

~~~~

As I continue on with my read, I'll have more feedback for you, dear ctenari.

Until then, I remain the one you love to hate,
Adoringly,
Your non-Czech Czech,
ADM

Archiv článků: březen 2008